So lately things have been really discussed in the media about “rape culture”. I have read comments regarding these articles in various websites. There have been couple of comments talking about defending oneself and speaking out which helps with future victims not being victimized. A lot of the comments were nasty towards Rose McGowen taking a settlement from Harvey Weinstein and speaking out at such a later date. That Rose should have stood up to him and that would have protected future victims.
Well I want too talk about the backlash that victims face when they do speak up.
Earlier this year in March I had a domestic instance where I got assaulted by brother physically. This included being punched in the face multiple times around the eye socket to the point of enduring stitches. The police got involved and he was arrested. Since I was residing with him at the time and other family members which included, my mother and two other brothers, I was kicked to the streets by my mother. She decided that she rather keep the abuser, her son, rather then her daughter, the victim. Now this isn’t the same as being raped but I guess it comes somewhat close to the issue here.
My sister, whose married, never once called me to ask me what happened. I called her a couple of days later and she told me she didn’t need the stress that comes with interacting with me. Not once was I asked if I needed help or even what the situation was that caused it. Rather she told me she was advised by my brother’s attorney that she couldn’t get involved. Honestly that doesn’t make sense to me since she isn’t even part of that household. There is an order of protection in place which doesn’t apply to her but the person, my supposed brother.
Ever since I have been facing backlash. I come from a Pakistani Muslim family. Well supposedly I could say we are all immigrants and we just got off the boat. That would explain the cultural reasons behind my brothers act of violence maybe? Yet no my siblings and I are born or raised here.
I have friends of the family tell me that I was antagonistic and hostile. I was argumentative and lived independently for a time. My brother justified himself by saying that I argued all the time. There was no mention of the verbal abuse that I had to endure on a daily basis. Such as being called a “fat cow”, “failure” “bitch” and even being told that I should cook for them since I had nothing better to do. All three of my brothers verbally abused me until one of them decided it okay to attack me physically. There was no mention of the fact that I was ill and that my younger brothers should respect me since I am the oldest as Islam or our culture mentions.
Then things got worse. I was told to drop the case by my mother but in the same breath told that she didn’t want to see me again. Supposedly family friends pressured me to do the same. At the same time my weight was criticized not caring of the fact that I yet again dealing with health issues and medical side effects. I was ostracized from community events and these very friends avoided me in the streets. Meanwhile I was living with roommates that were shady in a small room in Brooklyn while most of my stuff was in storage.
My sister was pregnant for seven months and didn’t tell me. She even had a baby shower and didn’t invite me. Her preference was to have her co-workers and friends at her baby shower. Then add insult to injury she tells me after she posts the pictures on Facebook like I am one of her fans and she is some sort of famous celebrity. Meanwhile she constantly posts about women’s rights and domestic violence aka solidarity on Facebook like she cares about these issues. Oh please, the hypocrisy is laughable.
The last straw for me was when she had her kid on Sunday and posts it on Facebook five days later. Meanwhile no text or call. Even though I had called her a couple of weeks before just wondering how things were with no response. I am her older sister dealing with a predicament and yet I had still cared enough to call her. So where is the love for this sisterhood. Nowhere, pretty much. Supposedly she is a western woman born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and yet her silence condones the whole issue.
But then again what would you expect from someone who invites a pedophile to her wedding? Which is folks the reason I boycotted her wedding to begin with but that is a tale alas for another day! In the end I decided whether or not I cared about my nephew was irrelevant. So I decided to block this sisterhood on Facebook instead.